An Epitaph for Bitterness
Is the amarga really gone from Thea? I know it’s shocking, but generally speaking, I’m about as bitter as extra-rich milk chocolate, you know that kind that almost makes me ill it’s so creamy. Disgusting, uncharacteristic, yes. Healthier for me? Probably. I was chatting with a friend from high school last night, discussing my newfound problem of “expressing positive emotions” to which he replied “Thea and positive emotions? no way.” Ha, ha. Very funny, I get it.
This is not to say that I’ve lost my healthy cynicism, nor the witty irreverence that oh so many of you out there find endearing, but I’m clearly not as aggressive about my bitterness as I have been in times past. A little more resilient? Yeah.
Also, around these times in my life when things start to come together (see also: end of senior year, while not obsessing about AP exams…semester abroad), now-estranged friends or acquaintances feel the need to remove their heads from their asses and admit that they were assholes. Happened in high school, one certain surfer had a a flash of lucidity, remarking “Thea, I was pretty mean to you in middle school, wasn’t I.” Yes, B., you were. Thanks for recognizing that.
Again, last night, different friend, different context but same shtick; discussing my amorous drama second semester freshman year here, one certain TFA recruiter smiled sheepishly at my “You were a bit of an asshole” comment. Yes, Rob, you were. Thanks for recognizing that, even if you were doing it ostensibly ‘for my benefit…to save me from an awful guy.’ People need to stop thinking that being assholes is beneficial in some way to the objects of this idiotic behavior.
Keep it up boys, I want the groveling apologies coming in all semester; we’ve all got time to make amends =). I can think of a few who might owe me one, but I’m not bitter about it at all. Wink, wink.